Adolescence: a period of chaos and confusion. There’s little rhyme or reason to one’s heightened sensibilities, and it didn’t help that 1980s pop songs had such bloody weird lyrics.
Initially, maybe it was a crap hi-fi/radio signal that sent you down the wrong track, or maybe some jackass got in your ear.
Either way, a song’s lyrics were often lost in translation, the meaning – such that it was – got skewed and from that moment on you couldn’t hear it without factoring in your messed-up version. And it didn’t matter if it was a tune you loved or hated.
Sad to report, to this day, when I hear these songs/lines, I get the lyrics ‘wrong’. And yes, it has to be said, you don’t have to be Dr Freud to see that sex was usually the driver. That’s adolescence for you…
Blondie: ‘Island Of Lost Souls’
Misheard line: ‘I’m f*ckin’ near/Can you help me put my truck in gear’
(Correct line: ‘Oh buccaneer/Can you help me put my truck in gear’)
Irene Cara: ‘Flashdance (What A Feeling)’
Misheard line #1: ‘Take your pants down/And make it happen’
(Correct line: ‘Take your passion/And make it happen’)
Misheard line #2: ‘I can have it off/Now I’m dancing for my life’
(Correct line: ‘I can have it all/Now I’m dancing for my life’)
Michael Jackson: ‘Thriller’
Misheard line: ‘And though you f*ck to stay alive/Your body starts to quiver’
(Correct line: ‘And though you fight to stay alive/Your body starts to quiver’)
Prince: ‘Strange Relationship’
Misheard line: ‘But I’ve seen you get a kick out of doing coke’
(Correct line: ‘But I seem to get a kick out of doing you cold’)
UB40: ‘Food For Thought’
Misheard line: ‘I’m a prima donna’
(Correct line: ‘Ivory madonna’)
Bryan Adams: ‘Heaven’
Misheard line: ‘Love is all that I need/And I found it there in your shirt’
(Correct line: ‘Love is all that I need/And I found it there in your heart’)
Billy Joel: ‘An Innocent Man’
Misheard line: ‘Some people live with the fear of a touch/And the anger of having dinner poo’
(Correct line: ‘Some people live with the fear of a touch/And the anger of having been a fool’)
Donald Fagen: ‘Ruby Baby’
Misheard line: ‘From the sunny day I met you/Made a bed where I will get you’
(Correct lilne: ‘From the sunny day I met you/Made a bet that I would get you’)
The Blue Nile: ‘The Downtown Lights’
Misheard line: ‘I’m tired of crying on the city’
(Correct line: ‘I’m tired of crying on the stairs’)
Lionel Richie: ‘All Night Long’
Misheard line: ‘Everybody’s seen everybody dance’
(Correct line: ‘Everybody sing/Everybody dance’)
Steely Dan: ‘Glamour Profession’
Misheard line: ‘When it’s all over/We’ll make some colds from my cough’
(Correct line: ‘When it’s all over/We’ll make some calls from my car’)
Boomtown Rats: ‘Banana Republic’
Misheard line: ‘Banana republic/Set to climb’ (To be honest, I didn’t have the faintest idea what Sir Bob was singing… Ed.)
(Correct line: ‘Banana republic/Septic isle’)
It Bites: ‘Calling All The Heroes’
Misheard line: ‘High on a mountain the men looked below/Cucumber pineapple something and Poe’
(Correct line: ‘High on a mountain the men looked below/Cooked up a plan that would outwit their foe’)
The Police: ‘So Lonely’
Misheard line: ‘Simone/Simone’ (There was an Italian bloke at school called Simone…)
(Correct line: ‘So lonely/So lonely’)
The Beatles: ‘The End’
Misheard line: ‘Matthew/Matthew’
(Correct line: ‘Love you/Love you’)
(That’s enough misheard lyrics, Ed…)
Check back here for updates; doubtless other examples will crawl out of my memory banks… And feel free to add your own (from any decade) in the comments section below.
The Police also have massage in a brothel.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Like it. Hadn’t heard that one.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Also, a llama ties me up and ….
LikeLike
“Overloaded ox…suitable for rent” (Bros, Ten Out Of Ten from the Push album, 1988).
Should of course be “Overloaded ark, suitable for rain”. But I genuinely didn’t find that out till a couple of years ago. I did wonder why the hell they’d be singing about cattle for hire.
(And from the same song, there’s a line which I misheard as “we’re all underage” (“we’re home on the range”, I think it’s meant to be!).
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good one. Sounds like something Sting might write! And thanks for jogging my memory re. Bros. There’s a very naughty one I missed, the first line of ‘I Owe You Nothing’. The real line is ‘I watch you crumble’ but I’m sure you can imagine what the kids sang in the playground…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great stuff: ‘Take your pants down/And make it happen’
I used to think The Stones’ Start Me Up was: “Yugoslavia! Yugoslavia will never starve….”
LikeLiked by 3 people
That’s really out there…
LikeLike
I thought Start Me Up, was Scorpio.
LikeLiked by 2 people
That’s cool. An ode to the Furious Five!
LikeLike
Seventies rather than eighties, but WTF is Elton singing during parts of Goodbye Yellow Brick Road and Bennie and the Jets?
LikeLike
You got me there. Lots of people seem to struggle with Elton’s lyrics.
LikeLike
Don’t know how I forgot this one from Madonna’s La Isla Bonita, “Last night I dreamt of some bagels.” Came back to me today as I headed into one of my favorite bagel shops.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Like it. Come to think of it, there was a much worse one bandied about by the naughtier kids at my school regarding that line which I can’t repeat here…
LikeLiked by 1 person