Over the next few weeks movingtheriver will look at new albums by two giants of 1980s music – Trevor Horn and Peter Gabriel (despite the fact that both arguably stopped being crucial pop forces around 1993 or 1994 – but then pop also probably stopped being crucial around then too, sometime between the first Suede album and the first ‘farewell’ Faith No More LP…)

First up, Uncle Trevor. The superstar producer and one of the architects of 1980s music revisits some of that decade’s key songs with guest vocalists on Echoes. But alarm bells have been ringing in recent interviews where he has mentioned that it’s these songs’ lyrical content that most interests him.

And, sure enough, coming from a man who was responsible for some of the best grooves of the 80s and most provocative musical pranks, Echoes is desperate not to offend and a big disappointment. Fair enough, the guy is 74 years old, and who knows that sort of record company pressure has come from his new paymasters Deutsche Grammophon who aren’t exactly known for their ‘challenging’ pop albums.

Seal is a brilliant interpreter of the modern pop song and initially his version of Joe Jackson’s ‘Steppin’ Out’ works a treat. But the reformatted chords and bossa-nova feel are seriously skew-whiff, despite a nice (uncredited) trumpet solo. Horn’s collaboration with Michael Buble surely can’t be far off.

‘Slave To The Rhythm’ is reinvented as a piano ballad (again, after Horn/Rumer’s weird 2019 effort), with a few strange new chords and an almost comically stiff groove, and the song just can’t stand the strain despite a committed vocal from Lady Blackbird.

Marc Almond is in good voice but his ‘Love Is A Battlefield’ foregrounds a horrid little Euro-disco groove. Meanwhile Iggy makes ‘Personal Jesus’ halfway passable despite an incredibly polite blues setting. It could have worked with the right band.

Steve Hogarth’s ‘Drive’ could have worked (and if only Horn had produced Marillion circa 1993) but it misses the whole point of The Cars’ original – the dichotomy between the dark lyrics and bittersweet harmony/melody, with liberal use of major-7th chords. Why not a classic soaring Horn swoon-fest along the lines of Seal’s ‘Crazy’?

The key of ‘Owner Of A Lonely Heart’ has been changed to accommodate Rick Astley’s smooth mid-range vocals and he does a passable job but, again, the groove and arrangement are simplistic and not a little irritating.

Toyah is let loose on ‘Relax’ – again, it could and should have worked. But Horn inexplicably reimagines the song as a slow, painstakingly robotic groove with a toe-curlingly reverent recitation of the lyrics. Is it supposed to be funny?

Elsewhere there are versions of ‘White Wedding’, ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ and Kendrick Lamar’s ‘Swimming Pools’ which barely register. Horn’s own vocal on ‘Avalon’ is absolutely fine though, despite the on-the-nose arrangement.

So it’s sad to report that Echoes is rather joyless pop. Most of it might suffice as the soundtrack for ‘Broadchurch’ or a Christmas TV ad but generally it just made me yearn for the originals. One is also desperate for a vocalist with a bit more edge – a shame Holly Johnson, Claudia Brucken or even Glenn Gregory couldn’t be persuaded to do a twirl.