Tag Archives: davidbowie

Greatest Music Quotes Of The 1980s #3: Bob Geldof Special

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It’s fair to say that Bob Geldof’s efforts to kickstart Band Aid (‘Do They Know It’s Christmas’), USA For Africa (‘We Are The World’) and Live Aid were full of tension, drama and bruised egos.

And as each year goes by, more stories are coming out about that 1984/1985 era (many feature in the superb recent doc ‘The Greatest Night In Pop’ and Paul Vallely’s book ‘Live Aid: The Definitive 40-Year Story’), and more and more it seems like it was a watershed time for 1980s pop.

There are sundry tales of managers trying to get their artists higher up the bill at Live Aid (and trying in vain to get soundchecks…), egos running wild (especially in the USA), but also gratifying tales of altruism and friendship.

So a lot of people had a lot of entertaining things to say. Here are some choice quotes from the era, with a cast of characters including Geldof, David Bowie, Freddie Mercury, Bob Dylan, Michael Jackson, Ray Charles, Diana Ross and Paul Simon.

‘It sounds like f*cking “Z Cars”.’
Bob Geldof upon first hearing Midge Ure’s ‘Christmas’ synth melody in the middle of ‘Do They Know It’s Christmas’

‘You’re a f*cking millionaire and you want free food? There’s a f*cking chip shop on the corner. Go and buy your own lunch.’
Bob Geldof’s response to a star asking if there would be catering during the recording at Sarm West in Notting Hill

‘A huge voice erupted out of this little guy. I was standing next to Bono and I jumped. It felt as if I was standing next to an opera singer. He had the same massive power.’
Midge Ure on hearing Bono’s ‘Well, tonight thank God it’s them instead of you!’ line

‘I can’t go until I see Phil Collins play.’
Culture Club’s Jon Moss explaining why he was hanging around for so long in the studio

‘It’s pathetic but the price of a life this year is a piece of plastic with a hole in the middle.’
Bob Geldof tells Radio 1 DJ Simon Bates why people should buy the single

‘It’s really great what you’re doing. We want to do that over here. Will you come over?’
Michael Jackson rings Geldof from LA

‘It was a slap in the face. I know she felt bad. They didn’t think she could sing. It broke her heart.’ Nile Rodgers on Madonna not getting an invite for ‘We Are The World’

‘That’s like the Statue Of Liberty walking in.’
Billy Joel watches Ray Charles entering A&M Studios

‘Daryl, I’m your biggest fan. Would you sign my music for me?’
Diana Ross to Daryl Hall during the recording

‘Say what?! It’s three o’clock in the goddamn mornin’ – I can’t even sing in English no mo’! Ring the bell, Quincy, ring the bell!’
Ray Charles loses patience with Stevie Wonder’s attempts to teach the assembled vocalists a Swahili chant

‘That wasn’t any good.’
Bob Dylan after the vocal take that producer Quincy Jones deemed the keeper

‘Nice, Dylan.’
Bruce Springsteen to Bob after the aforementioned take

‘If it all goes well, no one will ever hear about you. If it’s a disaster, you’ll be famous.’
Harvey Goldsmith’s final words to Live Aid band organiser Pete Smith at the end of his interview

‘Oh Bobsy, I’m not so sure. I just don’t think it’s the right thing for us.’
Freddie Mercury’s initial response to Geldof about Queen playing at Live Aid

‘Is Geldof involved? I’m only doing the Geldof thing.’
David Bowie to his PR Bernard Doherty after getting TWO invitations to do charity work in 1985

‘You’ll never get Keith to agree. Cos Keith don’t give a f*ck.’
Bill Wyman to Geldof on his chances of getting the Stones together for Live Aid

‘Bob picked the wrong year, the wrong decade actually, to ask the Rolling Stones to do anything.’
Bernard Doherty on getting the Stones to appear

‘I took the idea from the television programme “Sunday Night At The London Palladium” which had a revolving stage at the end with all the performers of that week saying goodbye.’
Bob Geldof on the Live Aid revolving stage

‘I’ll do it. But Roger (Daltrey) will only do it if Kenney (Jones) doesn’t play. And John (Entwistle) will only do it if Kenney DOES play.’
Pete Townshend to Geldof on getting The Who back together for Live Aid – Kenney Jones had been their drummer since the death of Keith Moon

‘If The Who appear, we know we will get an additional million pounds of revenue. Every pound we make will save a life. Please, Roger, do the f*cking show.’
Bob Geldof pleads with Daltrey to do Live Aid – he did, and Kenney did appear on drums

‘Well, pull out, dude. You announce it, though.’
Bob Geldof to Bryan Ferry who was angry that he had been announced for Live Aid without even agreeing to participate

‘Oh f*ck. I didn’t think you could actually fix that!’
Phil Collins’ manager Tony Smith on being told by Geldof that Phil would play in both London and Philadelphia (he would also drum with Led Zeppelin at the latter gig)

‘We had this unbelievable discussion with Michael Jackson’s people. We were saying this is to help people in Africa and he just wasn’t interested.’
Harvey Goldsmith on trying to get Jackson to play Live Aid

‘They couldn’t give a f*ck, Bob.’
Quincy Jones whispers to Geldof his summation of why Diana Ross, Michael Jackson, Prince and Stevie Wonder failed to appear at Live Aid

‘Call NASA, Harvey!’
Bob Geldof to Harvey Goldsmith, getting excited about sending Mick Jagger up in a space shuttle to duet with Bowie at Wembley

‘Sorry, sir. It takes six months for us to plan to do something like that.’
The man from NASA – he say no…

‘The Beatles can’t be reformed. John is dead.’
Bob Geldof kiboshes rumours that he’s been trying to reform The Beatles for Live Aid

‘I don’t care how many songs you want me to do, but I’m giving up one to introduce this on stage or I’m not doing the show.’
David Bowie on the CBC video which married harrowing images of starving Ethiopians with The Cars’ ‘Drive’

‘I thought: either I’ve done something really clever or really stupid…’
CBC’s Colin Dean on his edit of the above-mentioned video

‘I’m not going to have someone like Bill Graham talk to me in the way he’s talking to me. I won’t work with this guy. I’m sorry.’
Paul Simon tells Geldof why he’s pulling out of Live Aid

‘I’ve been on tour forever. We’ve just got married and if I don’t give her a honeymoon, then it’ll be a divorce!’
Bruce Springsteen tells Geldof why he won’t play Live Aid

‘Well, f*cking pull out. No one’s getting a soundcheck. I’m going back to bed.’
Bob Geldof to U2 manager Paul McGuinness on the eve of Live Aid – the latter had threatened to withdraw U2 if they didn’t get a soundcheck

‘I don’t think I can do this. It’s been six years since I’ve done anything.’
Paul McCartney has a crisis in the car on the way to Live Aid – his wife’s response was: ‘Shut up. You’re doing it.’

‘She asked me whether I could get her on. I told her to just turn up.’
Phil Collins remembers meeting Cher on the Concorde during his flight from London to Philadelphia

‘I have terrible memories of it all going wrong. Poor David (Gilmour), his guitar wasn’t working for the first couple of songs. With his first hit, the drummer put his stick through the drum skin. Then my mic wasn’t working, which for a singer is a bit of a handicap. A roadie ran on with another mic, so then I was holding two mics taped together and I wasn’t really sure which one to sing into.’
Bryan Ferry looks back on his Live Aid performance

‘Looking back, I think we were all a bit overexcited and I remember coming off and thinking it was very scrappy.’
Brian May on Queen’s performance

‘Queen were absolutely the best band of the day.’
Bob Geldof

‘I walked in and just stood there, and we looked at each other and he burst into tears. I’ve never seen him do that, before or since.’
Bernard Doherty on David Bowie after his Live Aid performance

‘He wouldn’t let go of my hand. He said, “You’re that lovely boy from Boomtown Rats, aren’t you?” I said, “No, I’m the lovely boy from Ultravox…”’
Midge Ure on Freddie Mercury at Live Aid

‘I ain’t taking shit off today. You might hold it against me ten years from now…’
Madonna to the Philadelphia crowd – pre-fame topless photos had just been published in the newspapers

‘No, it doesn’t go like that!’
Jimmy Page to Phil Collins backstage at Philadelphia before performing with Led Zeppelin – he had requested that Collins play air drums through ‘Stairway To Heaven’ to prove that he knew the song

‘The whole thing was a disaster, really. Robert wasn’t match-fit with his voice and Jimmy was out of it, dribbling. If I could have walked off, I would have.’
Phil Collins on playing with Led Zeppelin

‘She came out and literally blew the console apart!’
Philadelphia monitor man Dave Skaff on Patti Labelle’s performance at Live Aid

‘This is your Woodstock, and it’s long overdue…’
Joan Baez to the Philadelphia crowd

Blitz: The Club That Shaped The 80s @ Design Museum, 27 September 2025

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England, 1979: punk is out, sus laws and Thatcher are in. Nightclubs are closing down and youth violence and political unrest are on the rise (as are movements like Rock Against Racism).

But, in a curious echo of punk five years before, something is stirring in the London suburbs. Young Roxy, Bowie and Kraftwerk fans from Bromley, Burnt Oak and Basildon are dressing up in style (Zoot and toy-soldier suits, cummerbunds, bolero hats, geometric haircuts) and flocking to clubs like Covent Garden’s famous Blitz, now the subject of an engaging exhibition running until 29 March 2026 at the Design Museum

It was the apex of a scene which encompassed fashion, graphic design, journalism, electronic dance music, squatting and a New Pop sensibility which would soon sweep the charts. In short, it’s arguably the best of the 1980s, and this fascinating exhibition neatly incorporates most of it.

Blitz Kids including Midge Ure, Steve Strange, Billy Currie and Rusty Egan

We see the original flyers and posters which wittily and stylishly trailed the Blitz club nights, and there are many items of vintage clothing. The rarely-seen photos are worth the price of admission alone, many contributed by original scenesters like Boy George, Siobahn Fahey, Robert Elms and Marilyn, including a priceless shot of David Bowie with Toni Basil (we also get the full story of Bowie’s recruitment of Strange et al for the ‘Ashes To Ashes’ video).

But the jewel in the exhibition’s crown is probably the recreation of the Blitz itself, with an AI Rusty Egan on the decks and Spandau Ballet performing ‘To Cut A Long Story Short’ on the ‘live stage’ (elsewhere Elms has donated his embarrassing handwritten poem which he used to announce their debut gig at the club).

Rusty Egan, Gary Kemp, Fiona Dealey and Robert Elms in the exhibition’s recreated Blitz. Photo by PA Media

The exhibition widens out to encompass other fascinating early 1980s artefacts, like the posters advertising Sade’s pre-fame Ronnie Scott’s gigs – well over a year before Diamond Life was released – and evidence of the media’s generally condescending attitude towards The Cult With No Name/New Romantics/Blitz Kids.

Then there are the textiles, hats and magazines galore (the exhibition dovetails slightly with the Portrait Gallery’s recent Face exhibition), and even the first all-electronic drum set, a Simmons SDS-V, as used by Kajagoogoo, Flock Of Seagulls, Ultravox etc.

This is an engaging, fun exhibition curated by people who were there and/or obviously care about this stuff. And there’s just enough social/political context for it to be educational too – it was good to see so many youngsters enjoying it with their parents. Highly recommended.

The Blitz in 1980, with Boy George (left)

The Face Magazine: Culture Shift @ National Portrait Gallery, London

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Any British music fan who came of age during the 1980s must surely have a soft spot for The Face magazine.

Launched by Smash Hits founder/NME editor Nick Logan in May 1980, the monthly rag – so named because of its Mod allegiances – quickly become known as a first-rate style mag (it covered fashion, music, culture, clubbing and cinema too), with its many famous covers reaching the level of high-quality pop art.

Indeed, looking again at issue #1, it’s remarkable how many of its listed writers and photographers would turn out to be key documentors of the decade – Janette Beckman, Julie Burchill, Gary Crowley, Anton Corbijn, Ian Cranna, Jill Furmanovsky, David Hepworth, Tony Parsons, Sheila Rock, Pennie Smith (and that issue alone features iconic photos of Madness, The Specials, The Clash, John Lydon and Paul Weller, amongst others).

It was also unique amongst 1980s music mags in paying as much attention to reggae, hip-hop, electro, house, rare groove and jazz as it did to post-punk, 2-Tone and sophistipop.

But movingtheriver also remembers it most for its superb long-form interviews: I still have issues featuring in-depth pieces on Miles Davis, Trouble Funk, Dennis Hopper, David Sylvian, David Byrne, Robert Smith, Daryl Hall and Ken Russell.

The Face’s iconic imagery is celebrated at the excellent if compact new exhibition at London’s National Portrait Gallery. Predictably it’s photos from those post-punk/New Pop salad days of 1980-1983 which produce the most smiles of recognition/pleasure – Bowie in Japan, Adam Ant, Phil Oakey, John Lydon, Annie Lennox.

But there are great pics/stories from later in the decade too – Bros with their mum at home in Peckham, Shane MacGowan, Sade, Nick Kamen, Felix et al. There’s also a great chronology of 1980s clubbing, from Goth to Acid House, and a focus on long- lost London nightspots.

As the 1980s became the 1990s, The Face arguably reflected a gradual coarsening of the culture with more focus on fashion and lifestyle – but you knew that anyway. But this exhibition is a must-see for any music fan who loved the 1980s, and it was also refreshing to see such a broad range of ages attending.

The Face Magazine: Culture Shift runs at the National Portrait Gallery until 18 May 2025.

Nine Memorable 1980s Pop Parodies

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The HeeBee GeeBees

One adjective you couldn’t use about 1980s pop is ‘boring’. The music had way too much character and the artists too much physical presence for that.

But 1980s music culture was easy to lampoon. And there was so much mainstream TV to do the lampooning, from ‘Not The Nine O’Clock News’ and ‘The Goodies’ to ‘The Kenny Everett Video Show’ and ‘Spitting Image’.

And across the pond, of course, there was ‘Saturday Night Live’. Then there were the radio spoofs and specially-constructed ‘bands’ like The Hee Bee Gee Bees. All in all it was a golden era for satire.

So here we round up some classic spoofs of 1980s music, with a few recurring subjects…

9. Not The Nine O’Clock News: ‘Happy Crappy Nappy Song’
Inane pop pretenders or joyous post-punk tunesmiths? If you thought Altered Images were the former, Pamela Stephenson and pals pretty much nailed the Glaswegian band’s shtick right here.

8. Stevie Nicks: ‘What The Hell Is She Saying?’
Who the hell is responsible for this classic?

 

7. Not The Nine O’Clock News: ‘Nice Video, Shame About The Song’
It’s the naughty gang again, this time brilliantly skewering early ‘80s pop videos, particularly the work of pioneers Russell ‘Vienna’ Mulcahy and David ‘Ashes To Ashes’ Mallet.

 

6. The Hee Bee Gee Bees: ‘Quite Ahead Of My Time’
Angus Deayton, Phil Pope and Michael Fenton Stevens brilliantly lampoon David Bowie’s 1976-1980 era, with nods to ‘Golden Years’, ‘Ashes To Ashes’, ‘African Night Flight’, ‘Fashion’, ‘It’s No Game’ and even ‘The Secret Life Of Arabia’. There’s also a touch of Eno and Bowie’s ‘point to some chord signs with a baton and get the band to play them’ Berlin-era modus operandi about the music here.

 

5. Spitting Image: ‘We’re Scared Of Bob’
Lyrically and musically spot-on, and also highlights the use of minor celebs in ‘We Are The World’ and ‘Do They Know It’s Christmas’.

 

4. The Kenny Everett Video Show: The Bee Gees
Ten years before Clive Anderson’s disastrous TV interview, Kenny nails the inescapable naffness of the Brothers Gibb.

 

3. The Hee Bee Gee Bees: ‘Too Depressed To Commit Suicide’
The first of two Police pastiches, Messrs. Deayton, Pope and Fenton Stevens (apparently with amusing lyrical input by Richard Curtis too) offer a great distillation of their sound, somewhere between ‘Walking On The Moon’ and ‘Don’t Stand So Close To Me’. Also check out the delicious piss-taking of Stewart Copeland’s penchant for adding ‘delays’ (echoes) to his drums.

 

2. Weird Al Yankovic: ‘Velvet Elvis’
Not as good as the previous track – his voice is pretty poor – but musically it’s pretty damn sharp.

 

1. Saturday Night Live: Frank Sinatra and Stevie Wonder
Just a timeless classic…

Any classic ’80s parodies missing here? Leave a comment below.

1984: David Bowie’s Worst Year?

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Bowie’s Tonight, the speedy followup to Let’s Dance released 40 years ago, was one of the most divisive albums of his career.

For some, it was over-produced pap. For others, it was a great little pop/rock album. In the September issue of Record Collector magazine, I reassess it, rounding up some of the usual and unusual 1980s suspects in the process.

Still, for many, 1984 remains the worst year of David’s career. In fact, during a period of great personal strain, it was one of his most intriguing, including collaborations with Pat Metheny, Tina Turner, John Schlesinger and Iggy Pop, the ‘Jazzin’ For Blue Jean’ short film with Julien Temple and his (at first) tentative foray into the Band Aid project.

Read all about DB’s 1984 in the new RC. Top breeders recommend it.

Book Review: Absolute Beginner by Kevin Armstrong

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Most fans of 1980s pop and rock will have come across the name Kevin Armstrong, guitarist with Iggy Pop, Morrissey, Sinead O’Connor, John Lydon, Propaganda, Tin Machine, Prefab Sprout, Thomas Dolby and Paul McCartney, and famously part of David Bowie’s band at Live Aid.

His enjoyable new memoir ‘Absolute Beginner’ is that rare thing – a book by a British session player who has borne witness to massive egos, occasional artistic triumphs and typical music biz disappointments, all the while trying to get a reasonable guitar sound.

But the book is anything but a polite/completist career overview – Armstrong knows where the bodies are buried and doesn’t hold back on salacious details. He’s also blatantly honest about his own perceived musical shortcomings and mental health issues.

Finally the book comes over as something like a cross between Giles Smith’s ‘Lost In Music’ and Guy Pratt’s ‘My Bass And Other Animals’, with just as many laughs as both.

We learn about his misspent youth in the relatively salubrious environs of Orpington, Kent, nurturing his increasing interest in the guitar and music of David Bowie, Yes, Zappa and Roxy Music (and ponders whether Eno’s squealing synths caused him some hearing loss issues when watching Roxy supporting Alice Cooper). There are superb passages about the power of listening to a great album while studying the sleeve and indulging in ‘mild hallucinogens’.

The punk era sees Armstrong squatting in Brixton, hanging out with The Slits and recording with Local Heroes (on Charlie Gillett’s record label) and The Passions. There’s a whole chapter on collaborating with Thomas Dolby, lots on laying down Steve McQueen with Prefab (fronted by the ‘emotionally fragile’ and ‘shy’ Paddy McAloon) and some hilarious stories about playing in Jonathan Ross’s house band for ‘The Last Resort’.

But the real meat and drink of the book is the fabulous section on Live Aid, particularly illuminating the strange realities of the music industry when he returns alone to his tiny West London flat soon after performing for two billion people. There are also fascinating, funny stories about recording ‘Absolute Beginners’ and ‘Dancing In The Street’.

His dealings with Bowie during the Tin Machine era are also as intriguing as you might expect (as is his story about being ‘let go’ before the release of that band’s debut album, also nixing the rumour that Bowie gave up booze a long time before 1989…), as are those with the mercurial McCartney, the superstitious, over-sensitive Morrissey and bizarre O’Connor.

There are many revelations too around touring with Iggy Pop, as well as some refreshingly honest opinions on some of his bandmates (especially – and surprisingly – drummer Gavin Harrison…) and a fascinating detour into joining a choir led by Eno.

But Armstrong saves most of his bile for his late entrée into the world of TV advertising: ‘Blind optimism and over-confidence drew me inexorably into the seedy and frightening world of production music…a world so steeped in bullshit and doublethink that it beggars belief’!

‘Absolute Beginner’ is one of the most enjoyable music memoirs movingtheriver has read over the last few years. Just when you think you know where it’s going, it delivers yet another zinger. It’s an absolute must for any fans of Bowie, Iggy, Dolby or Prefab, while offering the casual 1980s and 1990s music fan loads of tasty morsels.

John Lennon/Yoko Ono: Milk and Honey @ 40

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Milk and Honey – planned as the followup to Double Fantasy long before John Lennon’s death on 8 December 1980 – was finally released 40 years ago this weekend, on 27 January 1984.

I believe it was the second vinyl album owned by movingtheriver – the first was The Beatles’ Magical Mystery Tour soundtrack.

Polydor did John and Yoko proud, with striking front/back photos and a gatefold sleeve complete with Ono’s liner notes, Lennon’s ‘Grow Old With Me’ lyrics and some Robert/Elizabeth Barrett Browning poetry.

But Milk and Honey was somewhat of a commercial disappointment, reaching #3 in the UK and just #11 in the US. And it seems one of the least remembered Lennon-related albums these days. Why? Listening again after a few years this weekend was a pleasurable experience, with a few exceptions, and the breadth of musical styles (reggae, calypso, new-wave, piano balladry, rock’n’roll) is impressive.

Six John solo tracks recorded during and before the Double Fantasy sessions made it onto the album. They’re all pretty good, a few classic, mostly tougher than the previous material. John sounds on great form. His spoken-word moments and count-ins are amusing and he’s frequently heard ‘coaching’ the band (and studio staff) through the songs, Prince-style, with various instructions: ‘Boogie!’, ‘Hold it down’, ‘Groove!’, ‘All right, you can get out now’ etc.

The Lennon tracks also showcase a great band playing pretty much live in the studio. John plays lots of guitar – in that famous Jann Wenner interview, he said ‘I can make a guitar speak’, and you can hear it here. Drummer Andy Newmark lays off the hi-hat most of the time, letting the rhythm guitars fill in the top end.

Three UK singles were released from the album, with diminishing returns: ‘Nobody Told Me’ got to #6, ‘Borrowed Time’ (studio sessions reveal that John used an interesting reference source for the song) #32 and ‘I’m Stepping Out’ #88.

Yoko recorded her tracks during 1982 and 1983, mostly with a very good NYC rhythm section (Neil Jason on bass, Yogi Horton on drums), and they range from the intriguing to extremely corny. ‘Don’t Be Scared’ possibly influenced David Bowie, particularly the title track of Tonight, recorded three months after Milk and Honey was released:

Yoko also enlisted some ‘remix engineers’ who apparently added a lot of post-production effects to John’s vocals, the drums and guitars (she had fallen out with Double Fantasy producer Jack Douglas over unpaid royalties and refused to credit him on the album).

Revisiting Milk and Honey was certainly a bittersweet experience, but it’s an easy album to recommend, and it only makes you miss John all the more. The dunderheaded/ill-informed contemporary critical reactions are explored in this very good video:

Book Launch: John McLaughlin (From Miles and Mahavishnu to The 4th Dimension)

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Matt’s new book ‘John McLaughlin: From Miles and Mahavishnu to The 4th Dimension’ is available now and can be ordered via the links below.

‘A must-have in every aspiring musician’s personal library.’ Billy Cobham, Mahavishnu Orchestra drummer

‘A wonderful insight into a true innovator and colossus of the guitar.’ Mark King, Level 42 bassist/vocalist

‘Scrupulously researched… A fluent career overview.’ **** MOJO, December 2023

‘The most comprehensive overview of McLaughlin’s career to make it into print thus far.’ **** Shindig!, January 2024

‘Comprehensive and thoroughly researched, Phillips’ book is a revelation. A must-read for guitar aficionados and McLaughlin devotees.’ Bill Milkowski, author of ‘Jaco’ and ‘Michael Brecker’

‘Riveting… Meticulous storytelling… The book is not just a narrative, it’s a visual feast.’ Jazz In Europe

‘Paints the fullest picture yet of the guitarist’s life.’ Jazzed

‘Thorough and impassioned… The first book to fully illuminate the least-appreciated, least-documented periods in the extraordinary career of this wondrously free-spirited, prolific, perpetually questing artist.’ Booklist

UK orders:

UK Bookshops

Rowman & Littlefield (Enter discount code RLFANDF30 to save 30% off the list price)

World Of Books

Hive

Blackwell’s

Waterstones

Foyles

WHSmith

USA orders:

Rowman & Littlefield (Enter discount code RLFANDF30 to save 30% off the list price)

Barnes & Noble

BooksaMillion

It’s an exhaustive look at John’s catalogue, live career and spiritual life, with an introductory note by Robert Fripp, testimonials from Mark King, Billy Cobham and Bill Milkowski, interviews with key collaborators and lots of exclusive photographs. I cover John’s early sessions with David Bowie and Donovan, his remarkable sideman work with Tony Williams and Miles Davis, the fabled solo career fronting The Mahavishnu Orchestra and Shakti and various projects alongside the likes of Sting, Jeff Beck, Herbie Hancock and Carlos Santana.

If you’ve enjoyed this website in any capacity, please consider buying this book and getting it to the toppermost of the poppermost… Thank you!

Nearly the Greatest Pop Albums of the 1980s (The One-Crap-Track Theory)

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It’s been a bit of a movingtheriver obsession over the past few weeks as summer finally kicks in and the album format makes a seasonal comeback.

You’re enjoying the music, hailing a ‘classic’ record and then…damn. It’s the track you always skip, the runt of the collection, the song that tarnishes a perfectly good album.

Maybe the band was ‘letting their hair down’ after a few pints in the pub down the road. Maybe it was the drummer/producer/bass player’s vanity track. Maybe it’s the overplayed hit. Maybe the album sequencing isn’t quite right. To be honest, often it’s just something irrational that you can’t quite put your finger on.

For whatever reason, here are movingtheriver’s almost perfect 1980s ‘pop’ albums, and the tracks that just don’t quite sit right:

Scritti Politti: Provision (skipped track: ‘Boom! There She Was’)

Prefab Sprout: Steve McQueen (skipped track: ‘Horsin’ Around’)

Prefab Sprout: Protest Songs (skipped track: ‘Tiffany’s’)

Prefab Sprout: From Langley Park To Memphis (skipped track: ‘I Remember That’)

Talking Heads: Remain In Light (skipped track: ‘The Overload’)

Phil Collins: Face Value (skipped track: ‘I’m Not Moving’)

Propaganda: A Secret Wish (skipped track: ‘Jewel’)

Wendy & Lisa: Fruit At The Bottom (skipped track: ‘Tears Of Joy’)

China Crisis: Diary Of A Hollow Horse (skipped track: ‘Age Old Need’)

Danny Wilson: Meet Danny Wilson (skipped track: ‘Nothing Ever Goes To Plan’)

Danny Wilson: Bebop Moptop (skipped track: ‘NYC Shanty’)

Frankie Goes To Hollywood: Liverpool (skipped track: ‘Watching The Wildlife’)

David Bowie: Let’s Dance (skipped track: ‘Cat People’)

Kate Bush: Hounds Of Love (skipped track: ‘Running Up That Hill’)

The Police: Synchronicity (skipped track: ‘Every Breath You Take’, and sometimes ‘Mother’ too…)

Joni Mitchell: Wild Things Run Fast (skipped track: ‘Solid Love’)

Roxy Music: Avalon (skipped track: ‘Take A Chance With Me’, but I love the intro…)

Hue and Cry: Remote (skipped track: the title track)

Prince: Batman (skipped track: ‘Arms Of Orion’)

Swing Out Sister: It’s Better To Travel (skipped track: ‘Breakout’)

Thomas Dolby: The Golden Age Of Wireless (skipped track: ‘Windpower’)

(In the name of balance, I’ve listed my all-thriller/no-filler 1980s albums here. )

Do chime in with the tracks that, for you, muck up otherwise excellent 1980s albums.