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The Greatest 1980s Movie Quotes

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Whilst 1980s cinema was seemingly dominated by action heroes and comic actors (Bill Murray, Chevy Chase, Eddie Murphy, Steve Martin et al) who generally tended to transform projects by dint of their improvisatory skills, there were enough gifted writers around (Woody Allen, Oliver Stone, Bruce Robinson, John Carpenter, John Hughes, the Coen brothers etc.) to generate memorable, crafted lines too.

And the proliferation of comedies, horror movies and smart teen movies made for good zingers. But what makes a memorable movie quote? We present for your dubious pleasure a selection of 1980s lines and mini soliloquies that seem to hold up; some have become part of modern culture, some always provide a laugh or chill however many times one has seen the films, some are just plain weird and wonderful, and a few were probably improvised.

‘Heineken? F*ck that sh*t! Pabst Blue Ribbon!’ Blue Velvet (1986)

‘Let’s f*ck! I’ll f*ck anything that moves!’ Blue Velvet

‘Why are there people like Frank? Why is there so much trouble in this world?’ Blue Velvet

‘Better to be king for a night than schmuck for a lifetime.’ The King Of Comedy (1982)

‘I bet you’re the kind of guy that would f*ck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around.’ Full Metal Jacket (1987)

‘I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass, and I’m all out of bubblegum.’ They Live (1988)

‘Can I get ya anything? Coffee? Tea? Me?’ Working Girl (1988)

‘I have a head for business and a bod for sin.’ Working Girl

‘I am serious, and don’t call me Shirley.’ Airplane (1980)

‘What a pisser.’ Airplane (1980)

‘Into the mud, scum queen!’ The Man With Two Brains (1983)

‘You touch me, he dies. If you’re not in the air in thirty seconds, he dies. You come back in, he dies.’ Escape From New York (1981)

‘Beware the moon, lads.’ American Werewolf In London (1981)

‘We’re living in a shop. The world is one magnificent f*cking shop. And if it hasn’t got a price tag, it isn’t worth having.’ How To Get Ahead In Advertising (1989)

‘I tried to stand up and fly straight, but it wasn’t easy with that sumbitch Reagan in the White House. I dunno. They say he’s a decent man, so maybe his advisors are confused.’ Raising Arizona (1987)

‘Be the ball.’ Caddyshack (1980)

‘I’m a veg, Danny…’ Caddyshack

‘This is a cross of Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent and Northern California Sensemilia. The amazing stuff about this is, you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home and just get stoned to the bejeezus-belt that night.’ Caddyshack

‘The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue Of Liberty.’ Crimes And Misdemeanours (1989)

‘Showbusiness is not so much dog-eat-dog, it’s more dog doesn’t return dog’s calls.’ Crimes And Misdemeanours

‘For all my education, accomplishments, and so-called wisdom, I can’t fathom my own heart.’ Hannah And Her Sisters (1986)

‘If you build it, he will come.’ Field Of Dreams (1989)

‘It’s the best joke of all – a joke on the children…’ Halloween III (1983)

‘Get out…now!’ Halloween II (1981)

‘Listen, lady. If you don’t give Big Ed some air, he’s gonna piss…all over your half of my body.’ All Of Me (1983)

‘You can start by wiping that f*cking dumb-ass smile off your rosy f*cking cheeks. Then you can give me a f*cking automobile. A f*cking Datsun. A f*cking Toyota. A f*cking Mustang. A f*cking Buick! Four f*cking wheels and a seat.’ Planes Trains And Automobiles (1987)

‘I mean to have you even if it must be burglary.’ Withnail & I (1987)

‘My thumbs have gone weird.’ Withnail & I

‘We want the finest wines available to humanity, we want them here and we want them now!’ Withnail & I (1987)

‘Monty, you terrible c**t!’ Withnail & I

‘Flash, I love you, but we only have 14 hours to save the Earth!’ Flash Gordon (1980)

‘Get ready for greatness.’ Say Anything (1989)

‘She’s a brain trapped in the body of a game-show hostess.’ Say Anything

‘I’m incarcerated, Lloyd!’ Say Anything

‘I gave her my heart. She gave me a pen.’ Say Anything

‘Can I borrow your towel for a sec? My car just hit a water buffalo.’ Fletch (1985)

‘When you grow up, your heart dies.’ The Breakfast Club (1985)

‘I wanna be just like you. I figure all I need’s a lobotomy and some tights.’ The Breakfast Club

‘You’re a parent’s wet dream – neo-maxi-zoom-dweebie…’ The Breakfast Club

‘May I admire you again later today?’ Pretty In Pink (1986)

‘She thinks you’re sh*t, and deep down you know she’s right.’ Pretty In Pink

‘This is an incredibly romantic moment and you’re ruining it for me.’ Pretty In Pink

‘I did not achieve this position in life by having some snot-nosed punk leave my cheese out in the wind.’ Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986)

‘I’m obsessed, thank you very much.’ St Elmo’s Fire (1985)

‘No Springsteen is leaving this house!’ St Elmo’s Fire

‘How much more black can it be? The answer is…none.’ This Is Spinal Tap (1984)

‘What’s wrong with being sexy?’ This Is Spinal Tap

‘Hope you like our new direction.’ This Is Spinal Tap

‘I’m not gonna be ignored, Dan.’ Fatal Attraction (1987)

‘I love my dead gay son.’ Heathers (1989)

‘Be afraid. Be very afraid.’ The Fly (1986)

‘I’ll have what she’s having.’ When Harry Met Sally (1989)

‘It’s a good scream…’ Blow Out (1981)

‘Where we’re going, we don’t need roads…’ Back To The Future (1985)

‘Seize the day. Make your lives extraordinary.’ Dead Poets Society (1989)

‘They’re here.’ Poltergeist (1982)

‘Listen, and understand! That Terminator is out there! It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop… ever! Until you are dead!’ The Terminator (1984)

‘Gentlemen! Let’s broaden our minds. Lawrence?’ Batman (1989)

‘I’m of a mind to make some mookie.’ Batman

‘I…corrected them, sir.’ The Shining (1980)

‘Little pigs! Little pigs! Let me come in!’ The Shining

‘Why don’t we just… wait here for a little while. See what happens.’ The Thing (1981)

‘There’s no fog bank out there… There’s no fog bank out there… Hey, there’s a fog bank out there.’ The Fog (1980)

‘Get inside and lock your doors. Close your windows. There’s something in the fog!’ The Fog

‘Say goodnight to the bad guy…’ Scarface (1983)

The Breakfast Club @ 40: 17 Things You Didn’t Know About The Classic Teen Movie

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Despite a few bum notes, ‘The Breakfast Club’ – which premiered 40 years ago this month – remains one of the essential 1980s movies, a must-see for generation after generation of teenagers.

Like or loathe it (some contemporary critics such as Pauline Kael lamented its whinier aspects, while others such as Roger Ebert were surprisingly sympathetic), its superb cast act as if their lives depended on it, and writer/director John Hughes’s attention to detail and comic timing are as spot-on today as they must have seemed in 1985.

But what was going on behind the scenes? Where was the film shot? Which famous actors nearly got cast? Which actors didn’t get along? Movingtheriver has done some digging (with spoilers)…

17. The film was edited by Hollywood royalty Dede Allen, who had worked on ‘The Hustler’, ‘Bonnie & Clyde’, ‘Serpico’, ‘Dog Day Afternoon’ and ‘Reds’ (apparently she was put to work on John Hughes’ original three-hour cut…).

16. Theme song ‘Don’t You Forget About Me’ was written by Keith Forsey after witnessing the scene where Brian (Anthony Michael Hall) asks his fellow detention attendees if they’ll still be friends the next day. Simple Minds turned it into a US #1 but Bryan Ferry was Forsey and Hughes’ first choice – he turned it down, busy mixing Boys & Girls.

15. Hughes wrote the first draft of the film over one weekend.

14. Universal weren’t behind the film, wanting more teenage hi-jinks and nudity a la ‘Porky’s’. They weren’t even sure Hughes should direct.

13. Anthony Michael Hall and Molly Ringwald were just 16 years old during filming – all the other ‘schoolkids’ were well into their 20s.

12. Jodie Foster, Laura Dern and Robin Wright all auditioned for the part of Claire, the prom queen. Molly Ringwald got the role despite initially being cast as Alison, the misfit. Emilio Estevez was initially cast as the ‘bully’ John Bender until Judd Nelson came in at the last minute (Nicolas Cage, John Cusack and Jim Carrey all almost played Bender too). Rick Moranis was due to play Carl the janitor but left the film just before shooting.

11. It was shot between March-May 1984 at Maine North High School in Des Plaines, Illinois, the same abandoned school used for ‘Ferris Bueller’s Day Off’. Most of the film takes place in a library – this was actually a set built in the school gymnasium.

10. The cast rehearsed for three weeks before the cameras rolled. They were running lines and bonding even as sets were being built around them. The film was also shot in sequence, a rarity.

9. Researching his role as Bender, Judd Nelson went ‘undercover’ at a nearby high school with fake ID and formed a real clique of naughty teens.

8. The cast didn’t smoke real pot in the famous ‘truth-telling’ scene – it was oregano.

7. Anthony Michael Hall’s real life mother and sister talk to him in the car at the beginning (and Hughes has a cameo as his dad).

6. Ringwald tried to get Hughes to remove the scene where Bender hides under the desk and looks between her legs, but he refused.

5. Bender’s famous, defiant/celebratory fist-raise at the end was improvised by Judd Nelson.

4. The scene where the characters sit around and explain why they are in detention was all improvised.

3. The original cut was 150 minutes long – they had to lose 53 minutes, including a long dream sequence and a whole character (a sexy gym teacher). Some deleted scenes have appeared on DVDs and on YouTube but many outtakes have never been seen.

2. The iconic poster photo was taken by Annie Leibovitz and later satirised by ‘Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2’.

1. The budget was just under $1 million! The film made over $51 million during its initial run…

What Is The Ultimate 1980s Floorfiller?

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Here’s a quandary. If you had to choose one 1980s song to get people on the dancefloor – maybe you’re the last-minute guest DJ at a wedding disco – what would you go for?

The track probably needs a few things going for it:

1. A great intro – a ‘call to arms’.

2. Cross-generational appeal, one for the kiddies and grandparents alike.

3. It has to be a total hit – no cult favourites.

4. Loudness and ‘impact’.

5. It’s probably ‘pop’ and pretty genre-less – no heavy metal or R’n’B.

6. A soundtrack hit might be good – something from a John Hughes joint or ‘Dirty Dancing’?

7. A flavour of the ‘novelty’ hit/one-hit wonder might help.

In his (great) book ‘Nothing Is Real’, David Hepworth comes up with five ultimate floorfiller contenders including two from the 1980s: Brucie’s ‘Dancing In The Dark’ and Madonna’s ‘Open Your Heart’. Both choices strike this correspondent as a little odd. Rather I’d posit the following (feel free to chime in with any omissions):

Michael Jackson: ‘Billie Jean’

Prince: ‘Kiss’

Dexys Midnight Runners: ‘Come On Eileen’

Simple Minds: ‘Don’t You Forget About Me’

Toni Basil: ‘Mickey’

Musical Youth: ‘Pass The Dutchie’

Roxy Music: ‘Same Old Scene’

Cyndi Lauper: ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’

Bill Medley/Jennifer Warnes: ‘(I’ve Had) The Time Of My Life’

De La Soul: ‘Say No Go’

Young MC: ‘Know How’

Wham!: ‘Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go’

Human League: ‘Don’t You Want Me’

ABC: ‘Poison Arrow’

Madonna: ‘Into The Groove’

But the one 1980s track I’d choose to get people onto the dancefloor is…

David Bowie: ‘Let’s Dance’

I’ve rounded up most of these and some others into a playlist. Happy groovin’.

The Cult Movie Club: Great Swearing From The 1980s

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We all know good movie swearing when we hear it.

From Richard E Grant’s gloriously-English ‘Monty, you terrible c*nt!’ (‘Withnail & I’) to Harvey Keitel’s epochal ‘You rat-f*ck!’ (‘Bad Lieutenant’), modern cinema was made for despicable language.

Your mum told you that cursing was a sure sign of a limited vocabulary, but try telling that to writer/directors David Mamet, John Hughes, Bruce Robinson and Oliver Stone, who consistently broke out the memorable humdingers.

To celebrate the cinematic four-letter word, we proudly present some of the best swear scenes of the 1980s, in no particular order. A few rules: no cartoons, because…I hate them. And it has to be dialogue, not a stand-up routine or monologue. And yes, a few of these movies were released in 1990 but surely shot in ’89 (and I need them in the list…).

WARNING: this piece is rated X, not suitable for minors or those easily offended…

7. ‘Casualties Of War’ (1989)
We start with the only ‘serious’ item in the list, a well-placed profanity during one of the more poetic dialogue scenes in this underrated David Rabe-penned, Brian De Palma-directed drama.

6. ‘Planes, Trains And Automobiles’ (1987)
Steve Martin’s ’70s stand-up act wasn’t particularly known for the four-letter tirades, but he had his moments (including the memorable skit on The Steve Martin Brothers album that begins: ‘Well, good evening, motherf*ckers…’). But this endlessly-watchable John Hughes-penned blowout had even Steve’s hardcore fans hiding behind the sofa. The scene is also notable for featuring the brilliant Edie McLurg.

5. ‘Scarface’ (1983)
De Palma’s drama is surely the doyenne of swear movies, so we won’t pick out a single Oliver Stone-penned humdinger but rather itemise the entire film’s swearing thus. Thank you, YouTube (according to an urban myth, the band Blink-182 were named after the amount of f-words Pacino drops in ‘Scarface’).

4. ‘Withnail & I’ (1987)
Impossible to leave out Bruce Robinson’s sweary masterpiece, a killer in almost every line of dialogue. But every profanity in the film earns its keep, none more so than this panic-stricken classic.

3. ‘This Is Spinal Tap’ (1983)
Apparently performed very much under the influence of the notorious Troggs Tapes, this beautifully conjured the annoyances of a duff recording session. I particularly like David St Hubbins’ (Michael McKean) moment of total exasperation, when words begin to fail him. Here’s the full uncut version:

2. ‘The Godfather Part 3’ (1990)
Pacino again, and why not? When Shouty Al gets going, there’s always a good chance he’s going to deliver some quality swearing. In this unsung sequel, he remains fairly buttoned up until basically going ballistic…

1. ‘Goodfellas’ (1990)
Tommy (Joe Pesci) meets ‘old friend’ Billy Batts (Frank Vincent) who is none too complimentary about the days when Tommy used to shine shoes…

BONUS! Let’s extend our look at great swear scenes into the 1990s. Because we can…

4. Bad Lieutenant (1992)
The Bad Lieutenant (Harvey Keitel) is driving his two young sons to school.

Boy 1: Aunt Wendy hogged the bathroom… All morning we couldn’t get in… So how are we supposed to be on time?
The BL: Hey, listen to me. I’m the boss, not Aunt Wendy. When it’s your turn to use the bathroom, tell Aunt Wendy to get the f*ck out. What are you, men or mice? If she’s hogging the bathroom, call me, I’ll throw her the f*ck out…

3. One False Move (1992)
Pluto (Michael Beach) and Ray (Billy Bob Thornton) drive along having a row about the money they’ve stolen, which Ray may have given to his girlfriend…

Pluto: Where’s my f*cking money, Ray?
Ray: I said I ain’t got any money. She took the f*cking money, all right? I’ve got 56 f*cking dollars, she took it, now let me go.
Pluto: You’re a pussy-whipped motherf*cker!
Ray: Don’t throw that sh*t at me, man. They’re your f*cking buddies back there that don’t have any money. That good friend of yours, Billy.
Pluto: I don’t know what the f*ck I’m doing with you, man! You’re a pussy-whipped, sorry-assed motherf*cker!

2. Glengarry Glen Ross (1992)
Blake (Alec Baldwin) turns up at a real estate office and makes his presence felt amongst the salesmen…

1. Fargo (1996)
Carl (Steve Buscemi) wants to leave a car park but the Attendant (Don William Skahill) isn’t making it easy…

 

Thompson Twins: Quick Step & Side Kick 35 Years On

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‘We’re not worthy!’ It was Wayne and Garth’s catchphrase but it could just as easily have been uttered by Thompson Twins’ frontman Tom Bailey in response to the band’s worldwide fame during 1983 and 1984.

He told Channel Four in 2001 (see below) that, at the peak of their success, he always felt on the verge of being ‘found out’ – an intruder at the 1980s Pop High Table. 

And then there was the ignominy of being christened ‘The Thompson Twats’ by that naughty Frankie Goes To Hollywood.

They were being a tad harsh; The Thompson Twats made some great pop in the early ’80s. But Quick Step – released 35 years ago this week – is fiendishly difficult to ‘place’, representing a kind of musical Year Zero.

The only real antecedents seem to be Bowie, Gary Numan and Thomas Dolby (who I can’t believe is not a guest keyboard player on the album – if he is, he’s not credited).

After the Twins’ first two records – when they were a kind of Grebo/agitprop/post-punk outfit – Bailey sacked half the band (including bass ace Matthew Seligman) and formed a lean, mean three-piece (Bailey took care of the music, Alannah Currie and Joe Leeway the image and stage show, though all got songwriting credits).

The final masterstroke was recruiting star Grace Jones/Talking Heads/Robert Palmer producer Alex Sadkin.

The formula worked a treat on Quick Step, recorded at Compass Point Studios on the Bahamas and one of the first albums I loved all the way through. Sadkin plays a blinder, adding loads of percussion, perambulating synths and those much-imitated, elastic bass sounds.

There are so many classic early ’80s pop tunes that it’s almost indecent. Just hearing the intros to ‘Lies’ and ‘Love Lies Bleeding’ makes me want to jump up and down like my 12-year-old self.

‘Watching’ – featuring Grace Jones’ hysterical vocals – and ‘We Are Detective’ are also good clean pop fun. The latter even throws in some Piazzolla-style fake accordion for good measure.

Quick Step & Side Kick was a big hit in the UK, hitting #2. Those anti-capitalist ideals were quickly waylaid. US sales were helped no end when the ever-prescient John Hughes chose ‘If You Were Here’ for a key moment in his 1984 movie ‘Sixteen Candles’, but the Twins didn’t really hit the jackpot in the States until the follow-up album Into The Gap. They even played at Live Aid – in Philadelphia, not London.

N.B. Michael White wrote a really nice, little-known memoir about life in the Twins called ‘Thompson Twin’. He played live keyboards with the band during their pop peak. Spoiler alert: it was not a bed of roses…