Adolescence: a period of chaos and confusion. There’s little rhyme or reason to one’s heightened sensibilities, and it didn’t help that 1980s pop songs had such bloody weird lyrics.
Initially, maybe it was a crap hi-fi/radio signal that sent you down the wrong track, or maybe some jackass got in your ear.
Either way, a song’s lyrics were often lost in translation, the meaning – such that it was – got skewed and from that moment on you couldn’t hear it without factoring in your messed-up version. And it didn’t matter if it was a tune you loved or hated.
Sad to report, to this day, when I hear these songs/lines, I get the lyrics ‘wrong’. And yes, it has to be said, you don’t have to be Dr Freud to see that sex was usually the driver. That’s adolescence for you…
Blondie: ‘Island Of Lost Souls’
Misheard line: ‘I’m f*ckin’ near/Can you help me put my truck in gear’
(Correct line: ‘Oh buccaneer/Can you help me put my truck in gear’)
Irene Cara: ‘Flashdance (What A Feeling)’
Misheard line #1: ‘Take your pants down/And make it happen’
(Correct line: ‘Take your passion/And make it happen’)
Misheard line #2: ‘I can have it off/Now I’m dancing for my life’
(Correct line: ‘I can have it all/Now I’m dancing for my life’)
Michael Jackson: ‘Thriller’
Misheard line: ‘And though you f*ck to stay alive/Your body starts to quiver’
(Correct line: ‘And though you fight to stay alive/Your body starts to quiver’)
UB40: ‘Food For Thought’
Misheard line: ‘I’m a prima donna’
(Correct line: ‘Ivory madonna’)
Bryan Adams: ‘Heaven’
Misheard line: ‘Love is all that I need/And I found it there in your shirt’
(Correct line: ‘Love is all that I need/And I found it there in your heart’)
Billy Joel: ‘An Innocent Man’
Misheard line: ‘Some people live with the fear of a touch/And the anger of having dinner poo’
(Correct line: ‘Some people live with the fear of a touch/And the anger of having been a fool’)
Donald Fagen: ‘Ruby Baby’
Misheard line: ‘From the sunny day I met you/Made a bed where I will get you’
(Correct lilne: ‘From the sunny day I met you/Made a bet that I would get you’)
The Blue Nile: ‘The Downtown Lights’
Misheard line: ‘I’m tired of crying on the city’
(Correct line: ‘I’m tired of crying on the stairs’)
Lionel Richie: ‘All Night Long’
Misheard line: ‘Everybody’s seen everybody dance’
(Correct line: ‘Everybody sing/Everybody dance’)
Steely Dan: ‘Glamour Profession’
Misheard line: ‘When it’s all over/We’ll make some colds from my cough’
(Correct line: ‘When it’s all over/We’ll make some calls from my car’)
Boomtown Rats: ‘Banana Republic’
Misheard line: ‘Banana republic/Set to climb’ (To be honest, I didn’t have the faintest idea what Sir Bob was singing… Ed.)
(Correct line: ‘Banana republic/Septic isle’)
It Bites: ‘Calling All The Heroes’
Misheard line: ‘High on a mountain the men looked below/Cucumber pineapple something and Poe’
(Correct line: ‘High on a mountain the men looked below/Cooked up a plan that would outwit their foe’)
The Police: ‘So Lonely’
Misheard line: ‘Simone/Simone’ (There was an Italian bloke at school called Simone…)
(Correct line: ‘So lonely/So lonely’)
Check back here for updates; doubtless other examples will crawl out of my memory banks… And feel free to add your own (from any decade) in the comments section below.
When MTV launched on 1st August 1981, it was estimated that only 150 music videos were in circulation.
So if the round-the-clock station was going to succeed, it needed new content, and fast. But, mired in the middle of a recession, record companies were initially sceptical about the commercial clout of videos.
That period was short-lived; as record exec Mick Kleber put it in the hilarious book ‘I Want My MTV’, ‘Once Duran Duran started selling records in Oklahoma, it opened everyone’s eyes.’
Suddenly the video department of the major labels was the ONLY department that was expanding. In the rush to fill MTV schedules, production went into overdrive. The likes of Toto, Christopher Cross, Journey, Stevie Nicks, Van Halen, Steve Miller and Chicago – still-big-selling acts from a different generation – were forced to ham it up in front of the camera.
And thank goodness that some of their lamest, most ill-advised attempts are preserved for posterity, and for our delectation. We are pleased to present 11 of the worst clinkers.
Here you will find a strange parade of transvestites, mullets, models, douchebags, disco line-dancers and little people. What were the directors thinking? Who knows, but for once I’m inclined to concede that the 1980s might have been the decade that taste forgot…
From that weird sub-genre of ’80s music video: the jazz-fusion artist looks for a hit. One has to feel particularly sorry for sh*t-hot guitarist Scott Henderson (who didn’t even play on the track!), looking like Screech from ‘Saved By The Bell’, hamming it up against his better judgement, and brilliant jazz dance troupe IDJ.
10. Hall & Oates: ‘Private Eyes’ (1981)
After an unforgivable snare-drum-in-the-wrong-place opening, one of the most unimaginative visual documents in pop history, fronted by an anaemic, manic, clearly uncomfortable Hall. It didn’t stop the single from getting to #1 in the States, though.
9. Billy Joel: ‘Allentown’ (1982)
Actually, Russell Mulcahy’s homoerotic curio would make a pretty good musical. Just putting it out there… (Billy’s appalling ‘The Longest Time’ clip also almost made the cut.).
8. The Police: ‘Wrapped Around The Finger’ (1983)
Directors Godley and Creme’s instructions to the lads seem to have been: look as much of a pr*ck as possible…
7. Billy Squier: ‘Rock Me Tonite’ (1984)
Apparently our Billy was aiming for a homage to ‘American Gigolo’ but ended up with this slightly deranged, camp classic. ‘Directed’ by Kenny Ortega, later famed for ‘High School: The Musical’ and Michael Jackson’s ‘This Is It’.
6. Steve Miller Band: ‘Abracadabra’ (1983)
Boring, boring, boring, boring, boring…
5. Toto: ‘Waiting For Your Love’ (1982)
We’ll leave aside that this is a very ill-advised choice of single off the back of ‘Rosanna’ and ‘Africa’. According to guitarist Steve Lukather, the video was so bad that even MTV wouldn’t play it.
4. Journey: ‘Separate Ways’ (1982)
Could it have been any more unflattering to poor singer Steve Perry? And whose ideas was it to have the guy playing air keyboards? Not to mention that the preyed-upon, obligatory ‘sexy woman’ is obviously a drag queen, when seen in long shot…
3. The Jacksons: ‘Torture’ (1984)
The clue is in the title. Michael obviously got wind of the impending disaster – he didn’t even turn up for the shoot. They used a Madame Tussauds dummy in his place.
2. Chicago: ‘Hard Habit To Break’ (1984)
Great piece of music, horrible video. Lots of ‘sensitive’ men of a certain age longing for a succession of scantily-clad model/actresses.
1. Van Halen: ‘(Oh!) Pretty Woman’ (1982)
Short people? Tick. Transvestite? Tick. Questionable antics? Tick. Ridiculously cheap production values? Tick. Definitely a case of too much bourbon and not enough brains. Roy Orbison’s views on this monstrosity are not recorded…
Are there other stinkers from the 1980s? Of course. Let us know below.
Even the most ’80s-phobic pop fan would have to concede that it was a great decade for singles.
The first 7″ I asked for was either Nick Lowe’s ‘I Love The Sound Of Breaking Glass’, Elvis Costello’s ‘Less Than Zero’ or 10CC’s ‘Dreadlock Holiday’, all from the late ’70s, but the first single I distinctly remember buying was Scritti Politti’s ‘The Word Girl’.
But many others have stayed in the head and heart. Here are a bunch of them in no particular order (apart from the #1), but I’m barely scratching the surface.
The rules: one artist per slot, and a simple ‘quality’ criterion applies: when any of these songs comes on the radio or onto a playlist, they demand to be listened to. They stand alone, retaining a magic ‘buzz’, wow-factor, presence, mood (and, pop pickers, there’s nothing from 1986…). Nothing grates, and nothing – or at least not much – could be improved upon…
85. Joan Jett & The Blackhearts: ‘I Love Rock’n’Roll’
84: UB40: ‘Food For Thought’ (1980)
83. Special AKA: ‘Free Nelson Mandela’ (1984)
82. Kid Creole And The Coconuts: ‘Annie I’m Not Your Daddy’ (1982)
81: The Clash: ‘Rock The Casbah’ (1982)
80. The Commodores: Night Shift (1985)
79. Janet Jackson: What Have You Done For Me Lately? (1986)
78. Lionel Richie: All Night Long (1983)
77. Cliff Richard: Carrie (1980)
76. James Brown: Living In America (1985)
75. Tom Tom Club: Wordy Rappinghood (1981)
74. Rolling Stones: ‘Undercover Of The Night’ (1983)
73. David Bowie: ‘Ashes To Ashes’ (1980)
72. Dire Straits: ‘Private Investigations’ (1982)
71. Afrika Bambaataa & The SoulSonic Force: ‘Planet Rock’ (1982)
70. Belinda Carlisle: ‘I Get Weak’ (1988)
Rick Astley’s ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’ kept it off the US number one spot in early ’88. Almost-perfect pop/rock from the pen of Dianne Warren.
69. The Jam: ‘Town Called Malice’ (1982)
68. Michael Jackson: ‘Billie Jean’ (1982)
Always the loudest song on any playlist.
67. Robert Wyatt: ‘Shipbuilding’ (1982)
66. The Flying Lizards: ‘Sex Machine’ (1984)
65. Joy Division: ‘Love Will Tear Us Apart’ (1980)
64. Carly Simon: ‘Why’ (1982)
63. Bros: ‘I Owe You Nothing’ (1988)
62. Dollar: ‘Videotheque’ (1982)
61. Yazoo: ‘Don’t Go’ (1982)
Difficult now to disassociate it from Alan Partridge’s early morning show, but still a brilliant slice of Basildon techno-funk.
60. Bronski Beat: ‘Smalltown Boy’ (1984)
Touching meditation on the travails of youth. Even an appallingly-played synth in the intro cannot wither it.
59. Phil Collins: ‘In The Air Tonight’ (1981)
The first showing for that ’80s staple, the Roland CR-78 rhythm box, on a single that legendary Atlantic boss Ahmet Ertegun adored…
58. Fine Young Cannibals: ‘Johnny Come Home’ (1985)
57. Robert Palmer: ‘Addicted To Love’ (1985)
No apologies for including this US number one. Imagine waking up with this buzzing around your head. Palmer apparently bumped into Chaka Khan on a New York street during the vocal sessions and asked her to harmonize the lead line – a great pairing (but was she removed from some versions? Doesn’t really sound like her… Ed.).
56. Alexander O’Neal ft. Cherelle: ‘Never Knew Love Like This’ (1987)
Producers/songwriters Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis did a damn good job of creating a Marvin/Tammi or Marvin/Diana for the ’80s. Gorgeous harmonies and vocals.
55. Salt-N-Pepa: ‘Push It’ (1988)
The ‘Smoke On The Water’ of ’80s rap. But, according to the ladies, it’s not about sex – it’s about ‘pushing it’ on the dancefloor.
54. Talking Heads: ‘Once In A Lifetime’ (1981)
53. Don Henley: ‘Boys Of Summer’ (1984)
52. Yes: ‘Owner Of A Lonely Heart’ (1983)
51. Billy Joel: ‘Uptown Girl’ (1983)
Billy’s tribute to The Four Seasons works a treat, with a slammin’ rhythm section and melodic curveballs to make even Macca jealous.
50. Musical Youth: ‘Pass The Dutchie’ (1982)
The joyful sound of late summer 1982 and the first song by a black artist to be played on MTV.
49. Junior: ‘Mama Used To Say’ (1982)
48. Genesis: ‘Mama’ (1982)
The first ‘event’ single in their career. Epic/menacing.
47. Donna Summer: ‘Love Is In Control (Finger On The Trigger)’ (1982)
Quincy assembles his dream team (Ndugu, Swedien, Hey, Temperton, Phillinganes) to produce an underrated cracker.
46. The Police: ‘Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic’ (1981)
Sting wrote the band’s fourth UK number one in 1976. Apparently Summers and Copeland hated Jean Roussel’s keyboard playing on this – but they were wrong.
45. Japan: ‘I Second That Emotion’ (1981)
Most original cover version of the ’80s?
44. Bananarama: ‘Robert De Niro’s Waiting’ (1983)
Apparently about sexual abuse…
43. The Bangles: ‘Eternal Flame’ (1989)
42. Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five: ‘The Message’ (1982)
41. Blondie: ‘Atomic’ (1980)
Minor/major splendour. Debbie’s voice always sends a shiver down the spine and there’s that Roland CR-78 again.
40. The Specials: ‘Ghost Town’ (1981)
39. Frankie Goes To Hollywood: ‘Two Tribes’ (1984)
No expense was spared for the all-important follow-up to ‘Relax’ – according to arranger Anne Dudley, a 60-piece orchestra featured on the intro.
38. Ultravox: ‘Vienna’ (1981)
Kept off the UK top spot by Joe Dolce’s Music Theatre’s brilliant ‘Shaddap You Face’ (which nearly made this list…).
37. OMD: ‘Souvenir’ (1981)
More like a dream than a pop song.
36. Adam And The Ants: ‘Ant Rap’ (1981)
35. Bucks Fizz: ‘Land Of Make Believe’ (1982)
34. Madonna: ‘Crazy For You’ (1985)
Featuring Rob Mounsey’s sumptuous arrangement and a winning vocal from La Ciccone.
33. The Associates: ‘Party Fears Two’ (1982)
32. Thompson Twins: ‘Hold Me Now’ (1984)
31. Young MC: ‘Know How’ (1989)
By way of tribute to Cooking Vinyl founder Matt Dike who died recently.
30. S’Express: ‘Theme From S’Express’ (1988)
29. Nik Kershaw: Wouldn’t It Be Good (1984)
28. The Passions: ‘I’m In Love With A German Film Star’ (1981)
A quintessential ’80s one-hit wonder, still beguiling after all these years, with a classic guitar performance from Clive Temperley.
27. Wham!: ‘Freedom’ (1984)
26. ZZ Top: ‘Sharp Dressed Man’ (1983)
25. George Michael: ‘Careless Whisper’ (1984)
24. Art Of Noise: ‘Close (To The Edit)’ (1984)
Allegedly built on an unused Alan White drum track recorded during Yes’s 90125 sessions.
23. Blancmange: ‘Living On The Ceiling’ (1982)
22. Paul Hardcastle: ’19’ (1985)
21. Soft Cell: ‘Tainted Love’ (1981)
20. Rick Astley: ‘Whenever You Need Somebody’ (1987)
Wacky song construction; try playing along on guitar. So many key changes. Arguably Stock/Aitken/Waterman’s best and vastly superior to ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’.
19. Hall And Oates: ‘I Can’t Go For That (No Can Do)’ (1982)
18. Freeez: ‘Southern Freeez’ (1981)
17. Kim Carnes: ‘Bette Davis Eyes’ (1981)
A classic lyric, and musically rich too.
16. MARRS: ‘Pump Up The Volume’ (1989)
15. Eric B & Rakim: ‘I Know You Got Soul’ (1988)
14. Human League: ‘Don’t You Want Me’ (1982)
13. Christopher Cross: ‘Arthur’s Theme (Best That You Can Do)’ (1981)
Hard to resist the gorgeous Bacharach-penned melody and superb drum performance from Jeff Porcaro.
12. Will Powers: ‘Kissing With Confidence’ (1983)
11. The Jones Girls: ‘Nights Over Egypt’ (1981)
10. Roxy Music: ‘Same Old Scene’ (1980)
9. ABC: ‘Poison Arrow’ (1982)
8. Joe Jackson: ‘Stepping Out’ (1982)
7. Neneh Cherry: ‘Buffalo Stance’ (1989)
You may mock…but slap on this Tim Simenon-produced corker and watch the dancefloor fill up…
6. Prince: ‘Sign ‘O’ The Times’ (1987)
5. Simple Minds: ‘Belfast Child’ (1989)
Steve Lipson and Trevor Horn cooked up this epic UK No.1, adapted from the traditional Irish song ‘She Moved Through The Fair’. Here’s an interesting live version I’d never seen before.
4. Van Halen: ‘Jump’ (1984)
3. Madness: ‘Baggy Trousers’ (1980)
It is London school life in 1980 – simple as.
2. Scritti Politti: ‘Absolute’ (1985) And – drum roll – the single I would save if my flat was on fire…
1. Grace Jones: ‘Slave To The Rhythm’ (1985)
Check out the full list, with some other classics, on Spotify:
They are of course the pop/jazz masters whose harmonic and lyrical sophistication have had the critics purring since 1972.
They’ve also often been described as ‘influential’. But is that true? Does any other music sound remotely like Steely Dan?
In the 1980s, the term ‘Steely Dan-influenced’ was bandied about particularly in relation to British bands of the ‘sophisti-pop’ variety: The Big Dish, Style Council, Everything But The Girl, Curiosity Killed The Cat, Hue & Cry, Sade, Swing Out Sister, even Prefab Sprout and Deacon Blue.
More recently, it’s The High Llamas, Athlete, Mark Ronson, Toy Matinee, The Norwegian Fords, Mayer Hawthorne, State Cows and even Pharrell.
None really sound like Steely. Sure, they show off some slick grooves, jazzy solos and nice chord changes. But they also generally scrimp on the hooks, harmonic sophistication, production values and soulful, distinctive vocals which characterise Becker and Fagen’s oeuvre.
However, there are random tracks over the years – by artists one wouldn’t necessarily have predicted – that have seemingly ‘cracked the code’.
Here’s a smattering, not all necessarily from the ’80s. More suggestions welcome if you can think of any.
10. Billy Joel: ‘Zanzibar’
Lush production (Phil Ramone), cool chords, great arrangements, biting Fagenesque vocals, quirky lyrics and nice guitar from Steely regular Steve Khan. Also featuring two kick-ass solos by trumpet/flugelhorn legend Freddie Hubbard.
9.The Stepkids: ‘The Lottery’
Underrated American psych-soulsters deliver jazzy weirdness, a nice groove, oblique lyrics, cool chords, memorable hooks and a distinctly Fagen-like croon from vocalist Tim Walsh.
8.The Tubes: ‘Attack Of The 50ft Woman’
The bridge and backing vocals always remind me of Steely, and I’m sure the boys would also appreciate the ‘50s B-movie lyric concept and ‘easy listening’ middle eight.
7.Danny Wilson: ‘Lorraine Parade’
The Dundonians’ superb debut is full of Dan-ish moments but this (sorry about the sound quality) could almost be an outtake from Katy Lied. See also the B-side ‘Monkey’s Shiny Day’.
6. Frank Gambale: ‘Faster Than An Arrow’
The Aussie guitar master swapped the chops-based fusion for this slick, lushly-chorded, Steely-style shuffle. Gambale sings, plays piano and guitar and also wrote the excellent horn chart.
5.Maxus: ‘Nobody’s Business’
The AOR supergroup came up with this standout in 1981. Jay Gruska’s vocals and Robbie Buchanan’s keys particularly stand out as Steely-like (apologies for the creepy video).
4. Cliff Richard: ‘Carrie’
More than a hint of ‘Don’t Take Me Alive’ in the chorus, lovely production and Cliff does a neat Fagen impression throughout. And hey, isn’t that ‘Mike’ McDonald on backup? (No. Ed.) Apparently co-songwriter Terry Britten was a huge Steely fan (as Cliff told this writer during a live radio interview circa 2008).
3.Boz Scaggs: ‘We’re Waiting’
Steely regulars Michael Omartian, Victor Feldman, Jeff Porcaro and Chuck Findley contribute to this enigmatic cracker which could almost be an Aja outtake. The oblique lyrics possibly relate to Hollywood in some way. See also Boz’s ‘Gimme The Goods’ which sounds suspiciously like ‘Kid Charlemagne’.
2. Tina Turner: ‘Private Dancer’
This Mark Knopfler-written gem pulls off the Steely tricks of simple melody/elaborate harmony and a risqué lyrical theme. There’s also more than a touch of ‘FM’ in the intro riff. Knopfler was always a big Dan fan and of course guested on ‘Time Out Of Mind’. See also Dire Straits’ ‘Private Investigations’ whose outro bears more than a passing resemblance to ‘The Royal Scam’.
From one of the biggest-selling debut albums in US chart history, this features the production/piano skills of Omartian, backing vocals from McDonald and a majestic guitar solo by Dan legend Larry Carlton. See also ‘Minstrel Gigolo’ from the same album.
Here’s another selection of choice quotes taken from various 1980s magazines, TV shows, biographies and anthologies that have drifted through my transom in the last few months.
Check out the first instalment here if you missed it.
‘Morrissey’s a precious, miserable bastard. He sings the same song every time he opens his mouth. At least I’ve got two songs: Love Cats and Faith.’
Robert Smith of The Cure, 1989
‘It’s a better product than some others I could mention.’
David Bowie defends the Glass Spider Tour, 1987
‘Back then I thought I’d lost it and I did a bunch of things I was really unhappy with – all in public and on record. But it turned out not to be true. My ability hadn’t deserted me. And it won’t go away. Ever.’
Lou Reed, 1988
‘The gig I have as the drummer in King Crimson is one of the few gigs in rock’n’roll where it’s even remotely possible to play anything in 17/16 and stay in a decent hotel.’
Bill Bruford, 1983
‘When I toured with The Rolling Stones, the audience would come up to me after the show and say, “Man, you’re really good, you ought to record.” How do you think that makes me feel after 25 years in the business?’
Bobby Womack, 1984
‘I find politics ruins everything. Music, films, it gets into everything and f*cks it all up. People need more sense of humour. If I ran for President, I’d give everybody Ecstasy.’
Grace Jones, 1985
‘I’m not the most gifted person in the world. When God handed out throats, I got locked out of the room.’
Joe Elliott of Def Leppard, 1988
‘I’m lazy and I don’t practice guitar and piano because I’ve gotten involved with so many other things in my life and I just had to make a sacrifice. Stephen Sondheim encourages me to start playing the piano again. Maybe I will.’
Madonna, 1989
‘Nile (Rodgers) couldn’t afford to spend much time with me. I was slotted in between two Madonna singles! She kept coming in, saying “How’s it going with Nile? When’s he gonna be free?” I said, “He ain’t gonna be free until I’m finished! Piss off!”’
Jeff Beck, 1989
‘I’ve never really understood Madonna’s popularity. But I’ve talked to my brothers and they all want to sleep with her, so she must have something.’
Nick Kamen, 1987
‘They ask you about being a Woman In Rock. The more you think about, the more you have to prove that you’re a Woman In Rock. But if you’re honest, it doesn’t matter whether you’re male or female. That’s the way we work.’
Wendy Melvoin, 1989
‘In Japan, someone told me I was playing punk saxophone. I said, “Call me what you want, just pay me”.’
George Adams, 1985
‘In the past, we’d bump into other musicians and it would be, “Oh, yes, haven’t I heard of you lot? Aren’t you the bass player that does that stuff with your thumb?” But once you’ve knocked them off the number 1 spot in Germany, they’re ringing you up in your hotel and saying, “Hey, howyadoin’? We must get together…”‘
Mark King of Level 42, 1987
‘We played London, we played Ronnie Scott’s, and I noticed that there were a lot punk-rock kids in the audience. After we finished playing, we had to go to the disco and sign autographs, because “Ping Pong”, the thing we made about 30 years ago, is a big hit over there.’
Art Blakey, 1985
‘I believe music – just about everything – sounds better these days. Even a car crash sounds better!’
Miles Davis, 1986
‘It’s a dangerous time for songwriters in that a monkey can make a thing sound good now.’
Randy Newman, 1988
‘To have those glasses on the cover was important because it was a statement and you have to understand that it was like John wanted you guys to see those glasses.’
Yoko Ono, 1989
‘I’ll f*cking… I’ll go and take on anyone, any white singer who wants to give me a go.’
Matt Goss of Bros, 1989
‘I’ve never said this before but my drums is so professional, man, know what I mean?’
Luke Goss of Bros, 1989
‘I hate parts of my own albums because I know I’m hearing something that doesn’t translate to piano. In fact, I’m being dishonest by playing piano at all.’
Keith Jarrett, 1987
‘When I began to see how Elvis lived, I got such a strong take off of it. It was all so revolting!’
Albert Goldman, 1989
‘The best way to make great art is to have it trivialised by other people as much as possible. That way, you fight and fight and fight.’
Julian Cope, 1989
‘Whatever you’re tops in, people is trying to bring you down, and that’s my philosophy.’
Samantha Fox, 1987
‘Call me fat and I’ll rip your spine out.’
Ian Gillan, 1983
‘Sure I care about my fans. Because fans is money, hahaha. Muh-neee! And who does not care about money? Me, I like muh-neee, haha.’
Chuck Berry, 1988
‘I have this long chain with a ball of middle-classness at the end of it which keeps holding me back and that I keep sort of trying to fight through. I keep trying to find the Duchamp in me.’
David Bowie, 1980
‘People who say, Oh, I don’t know anything about music – they’re the people who really do know about music because it’s only really what it does to you.’
Steve Winwood, 1988
‘I notice that critics and others don’t credit black people with the ability to write ingenious, creative lyrics.’
Nile Rodgers, 1981
‘I’m below the poverty line – I’m on £16 a week. We needed some clothes and our manager said, “I don’t know what you do with your money. I mean, 16 quid!”’
Gary Daly of China Crisis, 1984
‘You take four or five of those rattlesnakes, dry ’em out and put them inside your hollow-box guitar. Lightnin’ Hopkins taught me that trick.’
Albert Collins on his guitar tone, 1988
‘People are bored with Lionel Richie going “I love everybody, peace on earth, we are the world…” F*ck that! People love bastards.’
Terence Trent D’Arby, 1987
‘Epstein dressed The Beatles up as much as he could but you couldn’t take away the fact that they were working-class guys. And they were smart-arses. You took one look at Lennon and you knew he thought the whole thing was a joke.’
Billy Joel, 1987
‘I remember when the guy from Echo & The Bunnymen said I should be given National Service. F*** him...’
Boy George, 1987
‘The industry is just rife with with jealousy and hatred. Everybody in it is a failed bassist.’
Morrissey, 1985
‘I couldn’t stand it – all that exploitation and posturing, the gasping at the mention of your name, the pursuit by photographers and phenomenon-seekers. You get that shot of adrenalin and it’s fight or flight. I chose flight many a time.’
Joni Mitchell, 1988
‘I’m strongly anti-war but defence of hearth and home? Sure, I’ll stick up for that… I’m not a total pacifist, you know? I’ve shot at people. I missed, but I shot at them. I’m sort of glad I missed…’
In which freelance writer Malcolm Wyatt jealously guards his own corner of web hyperspace, featuring interviews, reviews and rants involving big names from across the world of music, comedy, literature, film, TV, the arts, and sport.
Adolescence: a period of chaos and confusion. There’s little rhyme or reason to one’s heightened sensibilities, and it didn’t help that 1980s pop songs had such bloody weird lyrics.
Even the most ’80s-phobic pop fan would have to concede that it was a great decade for singles. 
They are of course the pop/jazz masters whose harmonic and lyrical sophistication have had the critics purring since 1972. 
movingtheriver.com 